Forget a handsome face and a wallet bursting with cash, it’s love for his mum and respect for women that’s important in a partner, writes Eve Dugdale

What do you look for in a man?

A strong jaw, rippling muscles and a thick and shiny head of hair maybe.

How about a healthy bank balance, an offshore bank account and a private jet to whisk you off to a secluded island for an impromptu holiday?

But have you ever looked at how often he buys his mother flowers or if he likes to entertain or play fight with small children in the queue at the
cinema? According to US First Lady Michelle Obama, it’s these things, not good looks and a chunky wallet, which make a man a keeper. And when it comes to picking a partner, Mrs O can boast her instincts are pretty spot on.

America’s First Lady revealed her tips for securing a good catch during an interview in Glamour magazine in the US.

She advises women not to base their choice of men on looks alone saying: ‘Cute only lasts for so long.’ She also explains how titles and bank books aren’t important either.

Mrs Obama, who’s been married for 17 years, says it’s important to see how he treats his mother and what he says about women, how he acts with children he doesn’t know and most importantly, how he treats you.

“I have to say I agree with Michelle Obama,” explains Louise Robinson.

“My ex treated his mother appallingly and subsequently treated me like that too, so I’ve learned my lesson there! But still, you’ve got to fancy him or its a deal breaker.”

On the other hand, Afiza, who’s been married for two years, says there’s only so much attention a man needs to pay to his mother.

Otherwise that too-tight bond can end up becoming a hindrance to the marital relationship. ?

“In my culture, the sons always look after their mothers and often the son’s family, as in his wife and children, will move in to live with the mother, especially if her husband has passed away or is elderly and frail,” she explains.

“My mother-in-law lives in the UK but my husband still panders to her every need and drops everything the second she calls, often returning to the UK to help in situations that he really doesn’t need to get involved in.”

Afiza says mothers and daughter-in-laws often end up at loggerheads trying to get their man’s attention.

“I think it’s a nice quality, that he looks after and cares for his mother.

But when it’s not really necessary or if it’s a case where the mother plays on it because they know it’s the son’s ‘duty’ it can really damage a relationship.

“It can cause friction between the mother and the daughter-in-law. Maybe the mother starts seeing the son’s wife as a bit of a threat, when in fact, it’s just she feels a lot of the attention the mother’s getting is unnecessary. I’d agree with the advice, but only to a small extent,” she adds.

Surely there has to be some kind of physical attraction to lure you towards a potential partner in the first place? After all, Barack Obama isn’t exactly bad looking.

However Mrs Obama claims it was his honesty, compassion for other people and sincerity, which made him ‘special’ to her.

She says her husband makes her feel good and stops her doubting herself.

We spoke to some ‘happily marrieds’ about the more unusual things that keep them together.

Katie Tuttle says kindness and a sense of humour is what keeps her relationship going.

She says: “My husband sets up the Playstation and lets me and my friends do karaoke on Singstar while he does the washing up with his iPod on. It’s little things like that that make marriages work.”

Emma Haggerty says she steers clear of men who are rude to waiters in bars. And, echoing Michelle Obama’s sentiments, she says boys with bags of money don’t impress her.

“Men who act like big and important put me off big time,” she says. ?

“I always look for someone who makes me laugh - you can get through anything together if you can have a laugh together.

“My ex used to do a really stupid, embarrassing run towards me whenever he was meeting me in public. It always made me laugh and showed he didn’t take himself too seriously. He was prepared to make a fool of himself to make me laugh,” she adds.

“My mum and dad have been married for 38 years. My dad always puts petrol in my mum’s car for her and takes her out for dinner at least once a week - it’s thoughtful things like that which keep us women happy.”

Sorce:http://www.7days.ae

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